By: John Cabral, Conflict Specialist
Oak Park Mediation and Conflict Support
Oak Park

Lots of different, very uncomfortable behaviors can start happening in the most peaceful association.  One phenomenon we see now and then is an aggressive email campaign seemingly designed to discredit or intimidate the Board. An owner uses the association listserv to send frequent complaining emails to the whole community.  

What to do?

Some boards just vote to change the “rules and regs” so that now, posting to the whole community is a “privilege” that can be rescinded if an owner is sending “abusive” messages.

But everybody will know who the new rule is directed at.  Depending on the level of antagonism going on, this measure might soon bring attorneys into the picture.  Discriminating against certain owners is illegal. And actually removing the offending owner from the listserv will be messy and awkward.  The owner’s sense of victimhood will intensify.

This is the “legislative” method.  You can improve the odds it will succeed, without leading to bigger problems, if the Board consults with the community first. The Board can take a survey of the owners to gauge support for restrictive measures: a high favorable response rate will legitimize the new measures considerably. 

Better yet is if the Board consults directly with the angry owner about the proposed new rule.

In my experience, underneath this kind of behavior there is something else going on. Usually the person actually has a deep need to contribute their knowledge or expertise to the community but believes from previous experience that “nobody ever listens to me”.  They would love to be seen as a valuable member of the community but have decided beforehand that nobody cares.

Therefore, it might lead to a real transformation if somebody—a board member, another owner who gets along with the offending emailer, a people-oriented property manager, or a professional conflict specialist-- approaches this owner and asks her or him to please join the Parking Lot committee or the Tax Appeal committee or the Financial Committee.  “We need more people and it’s obvious from your emails that you have some expertise.”

Whether you follow this course or not, it never hurts to make concrete requests for the behavior that you would like to see the owner adopt.  And be sure to couch the requests in the needs the Board is ultimately trying to fulfill.  For example, “We’re trying to build trust and safety and neighborliness in the association: would you be willing to send only one email message per day to the list”?

It always pays to assume the best, not the worst.  This owner may actually want recognition and validation, not necessarily the destruction of the whole association.